The market

I have a confession to make, I've been cheating. I've been spending much of the last couple of weekends relaxing pool-side in beautiful gardens of fancy hotels with free wi-fi. This weekend I was pretty much alone in the city since the rest of the new volunteers went to Kampong Cham, a province, for language training. Since most of them are here for 2 years, they get five weeks of language training, while I'll only be here for 3 months and don't get any. My friends who are here for 6 months will only get a week or so, so they'll be back soon. I wasn't too upset because I haven't really been alone since I got here, so I was perfectly content going to relax at the pool by myself, but I decided to venture to Central Market first...

The market is not for the faint of heart, the sensitive nose, or anyone with any indication of any social anxiety disorder. First, you pass or avoid the food section, which mostly consists of raw meat and seafood that has been sitting out all morning and smells like it. It STINKS. And there is a lot of weird shit on sale. Live fish and crabs jumping out of their enclosures right in front of my feet, live chickens just waiting to give me the bird flu. They love fish and fish heads here. I don't know if I've seen any fish dish without its head. Apparently, the head is the delicacy.

With every step, there is someone hollering at me from every angle, "Hello!" "Miss!" "Lady!" "Buy one?" "Motodop?" "Tuk-tuk?" "Hi?" Sometimes I just want to scream "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" and stick my middle finger up at them. I suck at bargaining. The only time I can get things for cheap is when I genuinely don't want them anymore. Don't ever ask a shopkeeper how much something costs unless you intend to buy it. Once you ask that question, if you decline the item, they will assume it is because of the price and they will not leave you alone. "OK one less dollar, ok what is your last price!" I tried just ignoring them and walking away a couple of times, but they were still calling after me! One time a girl chased me 3 stalls down. Of course, whenever you try to bargain for something that you actually want, the shopkeeper just says "No, too low" and then you try to walk away and act all cool and nothing happens. They don't come after you.

To make matters worse, I got lost on my way home in the mid-day heat and sun. After 15 minutes, my throat started hurting from the pollution and I was stressed out. Walking in the streets is almost as bad as the market. Everyone wants to say hello and everyone asks you if you need a ride. If I needed a ride, I would be looking around for one! I want to know how often this tactic actually works for them to continue to annoy people with it. Sometimes I know the Khmer sitting on the side of the road say Hi to me because they are genuinely nice people with curious smiles, but it still makes me want to scream and run away. There is nowhere to sit, no shade to stand in, nowhere to hide from all the sun and attention and chaos.

This is why I ran away to the hotel garden, it's not so much for the clean air created by the green plants surrounding me. It's not for the peaceful quiet free of honking and moto engine revving. It's because its the only place where I can get away from it all and relax in the shade without being cooped up in my room. Where I can just be another person blending into the background.