After two and a half months, my weekdays in Phnom Penh have become a comfortable routine and a breath of fresh air between my intermittent holidays and travels. I wake up around 7 AM every morning to get ready and have breakfast before I get to work around 8. Some days I wake up earlier to Skype with my parents or get some other errands done before I go to work. My “commute” consists of walking down 4 flights of stairs and then riding my bicycle for about 10 minutes down St. 63 over to Monivong. On my way to work, there is a young security guard who used to yell “Hello!” at me every time I rode by. Now that I’ve learned to appreciate that most people who say hello to me are really just being friendly, we’ve gotten into the habit of exchanging a high-five every time I ride by. It makes me sad to think that one day I’ll stop riding by and he’ll probably be left wondering what happened to me.
In the first couple weeks of work, I was gaining as much background information as I could about DAC and the Cambodia Disability Resource Center (CDRC) while simultaneously working on my 3 month project plan. With my team, I visited four other resource centers at two banks and two NGOs (The World Bank Public Information Center, the Asian Development Bank (ADB), CCC and CDRI) to observe and learn the standard in Cambodia. Each visit was fascinating, and all the staff spoke perfect English and were really helpful and informative. I used the knowledge I gained from these visits to devise the information architecture, classification code, and policies for the CDRC library and website.
Once these systems and documentation were reviewed and finalized by the the DAC directors, it was time for my team to hit the ground running with lots and lots of manual work. It’s been all hands on deck since then with an intern, an assistant from MoSVY (Ministry of Social Affairs, Veterans and Youth Rehabilitation) and even the cleaning crew helping to attach classification labels to books and arrange them on the shelves according to the code.
Since we have practically next to no budget on this project, I’ve spent most of this time calling, sending emails, and meeting with partner organizations to acquire assistive technologies for our public computer, including JAWS (an English screen reader), Khmer Reader and a special mouse for arm and hand disabilities. These visits have been even more interesting than the library visits. I visited the Association of Blind in Cambodia (ABC), where amongst other services blind people of all ages are trained to work as masseuses in the famous “Seeing Hands Massage” centers you see all over the country. I also visited Krousar Thmey, the School for the Blind, where an extremely professional and well-spoken computer teacher who was blind himself walked me through the JAWS program and the way students use it for their work and leisure. It was fascinating to learn that some blind people in Cambodia are actually better educated and better off in the international world than anyone else simply because they are forced to perfect their English: there is no such thing as Khmer Braille and the Khmer screen reader is very limited. I also made a brief visit to a school for children with intellectual disabilities, who won me over with their lighthearted fun and crazy antics.
Lately I’ve been working on my final responsibility under this contract, creating marketing material for CDRC and a promotion strategy. This is the trickiest part of the project because we can’t have a successful resource center without visitors but we can’t handle visitors until we are fully functional (which we aren’t yet). When I’m not visiting other institutions, I’m usually working at my computer at my desk in a room with 3 of my co-workers. Sarah is a British VSO volunteer who works on the Inclusive Education project with Sokhim, and Seka manages the Livelihoods project. Seka is the easiest person to relate to at work and one of my favorite people: she is a 28 year old single woman living on her own in the city (her family lives in a village) who is also getting her masters degree on the weekends. Seka and Sokhim are Cambodian and they always lighten the mood in the office by taking turns playing Cambodian music on their computer speakers.
About a third of the 15 DAC employees are disabled people who lead promisingly healthy and successful lives without the use of any assistive devices. My direct report is a bright young college graduate named Sokdin who has an amputated hand. He does an incredible job of hiding it because it took me 3 weeks of sitting next to him everyday to even notice his disability! I’m not sure if this is a very impressive or very sad fact… Our office is a small run-down facility in the parking lot of the beautiful brand-new MoSVY building whose lobby is ironically twice the size of our entire space. For a disability organization, our building is the opposite of accessible as there is a step to get into the front door, the aisles are all narrow and cramped, and we don’t even have our own bathrooms! We use the non-accessible MoSVY bathrooms all the way across a courtyard in the main building!
There are other daily frustrations at work… lack of internet, lack of electricity, lack of budget, lack of resources, lack of staff, lack of professionalism… you name it. One of my co-workers, who is otherwise a very pleasant man, seems to think I am only good for English translation, as he never approaches me for help with the project or anything other than to correct his English in completely unrelated documents he is working on. Another one of my coworkers, my direct counterpart, the Information and Communications Officer, has a bad reputation for being very difficult to work with; others had pre-warned me that he doesn’t take initiative and doesn’t follow up to the point where the directors had to create a weekly plan for him and literally monitor his hourly activities. His work is so poor that after 11 years, his contract was not renewed and will expire around the same time I leave. Needless to say, I was very wary of working with him until I got to know him better and got to hear his side of the story and the root of the problem. He told me that the DAC directors never give him any autonomy over his projects or respect his input. They make decisions over his head that he only finds out about after the fact. For example, one day Sokdin showed up to work and sat next to him and he had no idea who he was. He asked, "Who are you?" and Sokdin said "Your Assistant." He told me that when the directors started doing this, he made the decision that from then on he was just going to ignore them. Simple as that. And that is the reason why he doesn’t take initiative or respond or follow up. I couldn’t believe it.
Most workplaces in Cambodia have a two hour lunch between 12 and 2 PM, but at DAC we only have an hour and a half from 12 to 1.30. When I first arrived and before I knew any better, I used to eat at a local buffet with the DAC directors for only $2. Pretty soon I got sick of not knowing what crazy scary dish i was about to eat next, so I started eating out with my other friends, visiting the market, doing laundry or relaxing at home during lunch. Our hours also run until 5.30 PM which is kind of annoying because most of my friends are free to go home at 5. After work, I either go out to eat with friends, go online at a restaurant with free Wi-Fi or an internet café, or partake in different workout classes I’ve tried out, including yoga, kickboxing, and capoeira. When I first discovered a local group who practice capoeira, a Brazilian martial art, I was in love, and I used to work out 3-4 nights a week. Sadly, however, with all the holidays, travel, and the stress of trying to wrap things up at work these last few weeks, I've had barely any time for organized physical activities. Even though I am grateful for all the travel and adventure the timing of this placement has allowed me, one reason I sometimes wish I could extend my stay would be to live a more fulfilling “normal” everyday life here.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I heart Uncle Ho and Pho: Vietnam
On Saturday morning (April 11), Meghan, Erika, Nono, Hollie, and I boarded a Suraya bus that was supposed to get us to Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC) in 6 hours. After just 45 minutes however, the bus came to a halt and then a dead crawl for 3 (!!!) hours waiting to get on a very small ferry to cross a river in rural Cambodia. THREE HOURS! Just to cross a river! Can someone please call Obama and ask him for some money to build a bridge? At first the wait wasn’t so bad; it was almost kind of fun because I was hungry and there were lots of vendors coming up to the windows of the bus and in some cases even climbing up to sell us food. The longer we waited and the more bored I got, the more precaution went out the window (literally): I bought some waffles, a sandwich, and still regret that I did not buy these mangoes I was eyeing. To be fair, the wait for the ferry is usually a mere hour and was only so bad because of Khmer New Year.
Finally, after a 5 minute ferry ride and surprisingly speedy border crossing, we were in Southern Vietnam. Vietnam was immediately completely different from Cambodia; much more developed and clean, but with surprisingly even more motos and less cars. (Wouldn't you think more developed=more cars?) After a week of observation I have realized that the biggest socio-economic difference between the two countries is the existence of a large middle class in Vietnam. One of the most disheartening things about living in Cambodia is that you can only really visit two types of venues: local places that are a bit scary or expat coffee shops, restaurants, pools, and lounges that make you feel like a spoiled self-indulging tourist. In contrast, in Vietnam it was really refreshing to find ourselves sitting side-by-side with locals in nice places. HCMC was huge and spread out, but there was something enticing about it that I can’t quite put my finger on. Maybe it was the vibrant backpacker district or the street after street of modern and colorful shops we passed on the way there, but whatever it was made me fall in love with Saigon.
On Sunday morning, we flew to Hanoi in Northern Vietnam and set off on a walking tour of the Old Quarter, where we saw the juxtaposition of brightly colored shops and markets next to ancient gates, houses, pagodas and even a St. James Cathedral! We ate lunch on the top floor of a restaurant overlooking the understated, but beautiful Hoan Kiem Lake. That night, it took us forever to find the secluded Hoa Sua, a teaching restaurant that takes kids off the street to train them in culinary careers, but the atmosphere and yummy food were totally worth it. Even though we had a good time in Hanoi, I still didn't like it as much as HCMC. I think it was too much of a big, crowded commercial center in contrast with the unique old world charm and warmth that I have grown to love about the rest of Southeast Asia.
The next morning, we took a 3 hour bus ride to the highlight of any trip to Vietnam: Halong Bay. I was SUPER excited for it from the pictures I had seen of my sister’s trip back in 2007, and my expectations did not go unmet. Halong Bay is an absolutely stunning body of water filled with huge limestone karst islands jutting up out of the water… over 3,000 of them! Halong Bay is a UNESCO World Heritage Site not only for its natural beauty, but also for its cultural importance: it is still home to numerous floating villages of local fisherman.
After enjoying the view from the top deck of our “junk” (what they call antique looking tour boats) while we cruised into the bay for several hours, we visited a cave on foot and stopped at one of these floating villages to check out their seafood traps (dinner). Then we kayaked around some shallow caves and ended the night singing karaoke with some cool Canadian girls we met on the boat; another unexpected highlight of the trip! Our group dominated the mic until long after everyone else had gone to bed, with the exception of our Vietnamese tour guide who was very serious about his ballads (including Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” which he had to share with the Canadians of course).
The next day we went for a swim in the Bay and jumped off the top of the boat, which was absolutely thrilling! Sadly however, before we knew it we were back in an overstuffed mini-van on our way to Hanoi, where I tried to make the most of the afternoon by leading the girls on a ridiculously quick tour of the museum district, stopping (just for photos) at the One Pillar Pagoda, Temple of Literature, Ho Chi Minh Museum and Mausoleum. I knew nothing about Ho Chi Minh before we arrived in Vietnam, but it did not take us long to figure out that he is THE man, the most famous and revered leader in Vietnamese history. Every single village, town and city in Vietnam has streets and museums named after him and a line forms around the block to visit his embalmed corpse (built contrary to his desire to be cremated) in the Mausoleum every morning it is open. The area around the Mausoleum was surprisingly modern-looking and reminded me more of Europe than of Southeast Asia.
That night we FINALLY ate Pho at a fast food joint called PHO 24 (it was still scrumptious) before heading to a see a Water Puppet Show. Even though it was in Vietnamese, the Water Puppet Show was pretty cute, but the best part was the live band who played unusual instruments and the two women singing whose voices gave me goosebumps. Late that night we departed for an overnight train to Hue, in Central Vietnam, that would arrive around 11 AM the next day. We knew to prepare for this trip by buying light silk sheet sleeping bags and a can of Raid, but it was still pretty nerve-wracking to sleep that close to God knows how many small bugs and cockroaches. We had the four middle and bottom bunks in a 6-bunk sleeper; I felt sorry for the two Vietnamese sleeping in the top bunk who had to put up with the stifling Raid, but with the amount we sprayed we probably killed the bugs around them too.
The second we stepped off the train in Hue, we were overwhelmed by about a million “touts”: drivers and hotel marketers vying for our business, so we had to stop for a coffee to clear our heads. Hue is a small city that was the capital of Vietnam during the Nguyen dynasty whose reign started in 1744; I was impressed by its endless riverside parks and ancient ruins. That afternoon we visited its main site, the Citadel, which reminded me of the Secret Garden. I realized I am a sap for ruins, because I lost all my friends and ended up wandering around alone for hours, exploring seemingly deserted old buildings that reminded me of ancient Greece. There were so many ornately adorned gates and palaces that renovation workers had turned some into makeshift temporary homes… while they were renovating them!
The next day Nono and I went on a private riverboat up the Perfume River to the ancient tombs of the Nguyen emperors while Meghan and Erika were on a night bus down to Nha Trang. We had to book the private half-day tour because we didn’t have time for the typical full-day, but whizzing around the countryside on two motodops rather than being stuck on a tour bus all day ended up being the best part of the experience. Again, I felt like I had gone back in time because there were random ruins all over the place, nonchalantly mixed in with villages, vegetation, and rolling green hills. At one point, we actually passed a herd of cows grazing on what seemed to be a forgotten (but beautiful) tomb that was overgrown with weeds.
That afternoon, after a well-deserved pizza lunch, we went on a surprisingly scenic 3 hour bus trip to Hoi An that included a pit stop on the side of a beach surrounded by green mountains. We arrived that night just in time for a delicious curry dinner and a swim in the hotel pool. Hoi An is another World Heritage Site, a really cute seaside city that is known for its tailors. The shops were a bit of a tease, because the displays of beautiful clothing were just samples of what you could have made rather than actual garments you could try on. The next morning, we went for a leisurely breakfast by the river and rented bikes that we rode to the Cua Dai beach 5 kilometers outside town. The beach was an unexpectedly beautiful and long stretch of white sand and palm trees. The noon-time sun was brilliant so we ended up hanging out there for a couple hours. In the afternoon, we went on a self-guided cultural tour of the city, visiting wats, assembly halls, historical homes, and the famous Japanese bridge. Most of the bridges in southeast Asia seem to have been donated by either the Japanese or the Koreans, so perhaps they are the ones I should contact for money to build that bridge in Cambodia…
That night we took a bus to the nearest big city, Danang, and flew back to Saigon. The next morning we went on a tour of the CuChi Tunnels, the system of tunnels that the Viet Cong used to hide from the American army and attack from within South Vietnam. Our tour guide was ridiculously prejudiced, but admittedly hilarious; within the first 5 minutes of the ride out of town he was going on about fat American soldiers who smoked too much grass, three-dollar bills, lady-boys, and chocolate babies…
Learning more about the Vietnam War was incredibly interesting, though the extent to which it reminded me of recent affairs with Iran and Iraq was uncomfortable. Obviously everyone has heard of the Vietnam War, but the extent of the damage done, the gruesome effects of Agent Orange, the sheer number of bombs (way more than in all of WWII), land-mines, and UXO dropped not only on Vietnam, but even on neighboring Cambodia and Laos (the most heavily bombed country on earth) is something that I never could have imagined before I came here. It’s truly sad how little we have learned from our mistakes.
On the way to the tunnels, we visited a handicrafts warehouse where we watched Agent Orange victims creating some of the most popular art sold to tourists, including paintings made with eggshells and mother of pearl. Although this visit was obviously more of a tourist trap than anything else, I still found it to be sad and inspiring at the same time, and I was really glad we got to see it. We continued our uplifting (scarcasm!) day of learning about the war that afternoon by going to the War Remnants Museum, one of the most popular museums in Saigon. We ate dinner at a coffee shop, did some shopping, and ended our last night in Vietnam by reuniting with Meghan and Erika at a hookah place.
On our last day in Vietnam, we went to visit the Reunification Palace, which used to be the home of the South Vietnamese head of government until the war ended and the capital was moved to Hanoi. Thus, the palace looked like something straight out of the ‘70’s, including an eerie basement that still housed "ancient" radio and communication technology. Video footage of Viet Cong tanks overrunning the gates to the palace and forcing the South Vietnamese government to surrender was equally creepy. On our walk back, we passed another famous St. James Cathedral, the French colonial style post office, and ate at a yummy Indian restaurant. Then we boarded the bus for the long trip home, including another FOUR (4!!!) hour wait for the ferry. This time we got out and walked around a bit, taking in more of rural Cambodia.
I arrived home around 11 PM to a dusty rain-splotched floor (what was I thinking leaving my windows open while I was gone?). It was weird for me to return a weary traveler from a long exhausting trip without really returning HOME. It brought back all the initial loneliness and home-sickness I had felt in my first few days in Phnom Penh and made me feel like I had to start all over again. It was so sad to realize that after all this time, I didn’t really feel at home here. But I think much of it was just the stress of the crazy trip and the cleaning and catching up I knew I had to do, because after a few days I miraculously felt eons better.
Finally, after a 5 minute ferry ride and surprisingly speedy border crossing, we were in Southern Vietnam. Vietnam was immediately completely different from Cambodia; much more developed and clean, but with surprisingly even more motos and less cars. (Wouldn't you think more developed=more cars?) After a week of observation I have realized that the biggest socio-economic difference between the two countries is the existence of a large middle class in Vietnam. One of the most disheartening things about living in Cambodia is that you can only really visit two types of venues: local places that are a bit scary or expat coffee shops, restaurants, pools, and lounges that make you feel like a spoiled self-indulging tourist. In contrast, in Vietnam it was really refreshing to find ourselves sitting side-by-side with locals in nice places. HCMC was huge and spread out, but there was something enticing about it that I can’t quite put my finger on. Maybe it was the vibrant backpacker district or the street after street of modern and colorful shops we passed on the way there, but whatever it was made me fall in love with Saigon.
On Sunday morning, we flew to Hanoi in Northern Vietnam and set off on a walking tour of the Old Quarter, where we saw the juxtaposition of brightly colored shops and markets next to ancient gates, houses, pagodas and even a St. James Cathedral! We ate lunch on the top floor of a restaurant overlooking the understated, but beautiful Hoan Kiem Lake. That night, it took us forever to find the secluded Hoa Sua, a teaching restaurant that takes kids off the street to train them in culinary careers, but the atmosphere and yummy food were totally worth it. Even though we had a good time in Hanoi, I still didn't like it as much as HCMC. I think it was too much of a big, crowded commercial center in contrast with the unique old world charm and warmth that I have grown to love about the rest of Southeast Asia.
The next morning, we took a 3 hour bus ride to the highlight of any trip to Vietnam: Halong Bay. I was SUPER excited for it from the pictures I had seen of my sister’s trip back in 2007, and my expectations did not go unmet. Halong Bay is an absolutely stunning body of water filled with huge limestone karst islands jutting up out of the water… over 3,000 of them! Halong Bay is a UNESCO World Heritage Site not only for its natural beauty, but also for its cultural importance: it is still home to numerous floating villages of local fisherman.
After enjoying the view from the top deck of our “junk” (what they call antique looking tour boats) while we cruised into the bay for several hours, we visited a cave on foot and stopped at one of these floating villages to check out their seafood traps (dinner). Then we kayaked around some shallow caves and ended the night singing karaoke with some cool Canadian girls we met on the boat; another unexpected highlight of the trip! Our group dominated the mic until long after everyone else had gone to bed, with the exception of our Vietnamese tour guide who was very serious about his ballads (including Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” which he had to share with the Canadians of course).
The next day we went for a swim in the Bay and jumped off the top of the boat, which was absolutely thrilling! Sadly however, before we knew it we were back in an overstuffed mini-van on our way to Hanoi, where I tried to make the most of the afternoon by leading the girls on a ridiculously quick tour of the museum district, stopping (just for photos) at the One Pillar Pagoda, Temple of Literature, Ho Chi Minh Museum and Mausoleum. I knew nothing about Ho Chi Minh before we arrived in Vietnam, but it did not take us long to figure out that he is THE man, the most famous and revered leader in Vietnamese history. Every single village, town and city in Vietnam has streets and museums named after him and a line forms around the block to visit his embalmed corpse (built contrary to his desire to be cremated) in the Mausoleum every morning it is open. The area around the Mausoleum was surprisingly modern-looking and reminded me more of Europe than of Southeast Asia.
That night we FINALLY ate Pho at a fast food joint called PHO 24 (it was still scrumptious) before heading to a see a Water Puppet Show. Even though it was in Vietnamese, the Water Puppet Show was pretty cute, but the best part was the live band who played unusual instruments and the two women singing whose voices gave me goosebumps. Late that night we departed for an overnight train to Hue, in Central Vietnam, that would arrive around 11 AM the next day. We knew to prepare for this trip by buying light silk sheet sleeping bags and a can of Raid, but it was still pretty nerve-wracking to sleep that close to God knows how many small bugs and cockroaches. We had the four middle and bottom bunks in a 6-bunk sleeper; I felt sorry for the two Vietnamese sleeping in the top bunk who had to put up with the stifling Raid, but with the amount we sprayed we probably killed the bugs around them too.
The second we stepped off the train in Hue, we were overwhelmed by about a million “touts”: drivers and hotel marketers vying for our business, so we had to stop for a coffee to clear our heads. Hue is a small city that was the capital of Vietnam during the Nguyen dynasty whose reign started in 1744; I was impressed by its endless riverside parks and ancient ruins. That afternoon we visited its main site, the Citadel, which reminded me of the Secret Garden. I realized I am a sap for ruins, because I lost all my friends and ended up wandering around alone for hours, exploring seemingly deserted old buildings that reminded me of ancient Greece. There were so many ornately adorned gates and palaces that renovation workers had turned some into makeshift temporary homes… while they were renovating them!
The next day Nono and I went on a private riverboat up the Perfume River to the ancient tombs of the Nguyen emperors while Meghan and Erika were on a night bus down to Nha Trang. We had to book the private half-day tour because we didn’t have time for the typical full-day, but whizzing around the countryside on two motodops rather than being stuck on a tour bus all day ended up being the best part of the experience. Again, I felt like I had gone back in time because there were random ruins all over the place, nonchalantly mixed in with villages, vegetation, and rolling green hills. At one point, we actually passed a herd of cows grazing on what seemed to be a forgotten (but beautiful) tomb that was overgrown with weeds.
That afternoon, after a well-deserved pizza lunch, we went on a surprisingly scenic 3 hour bus trip to Hoi An that included a pit stop on the side of a beach surrounded by green mountains. We arrived that night just in time for a delicious curry dinner and a swim in the hotel pool. Hoi An is another World Heritage Site, a really cute seaside city that is known for its tailors. The shops were a bit of a tease, because the displays of beautiful clothing were just samples of what you could have made rather than actual garments you could try on. The next morning, we went for a leisurely breakfast by the river and rented bikes that we rode to the Cua Dai beach 5 kilometers outside town. The beach was an unexpectedly beautiful and long stretch of white sand and palm trees. The noon-time sun was brilliant so we ended up hanging out there for a couple hours. In the afternoon, we went on a self-guided cultural tour of the city, visiting wats, assembly halls, historical homes, and the famous Japanese bridge. Most of the bridges in southeast Asia seem to have been donated by either the Japanese or the Koreans, so perhaps they are the ones I should contact for money to build that bridge in Cambodia…
That night we took a bus to the nearest big city, Danang, and flew back to Saigon. The next morning we went on a tour of the CuChi Tunnels, the system of tunnels that the Viet Cong used to hide from the American army and attack from within South Vietnam. Our tour guide was ridiculously prejudiced, but admittedly hilarious; within the first 5 minutes of the ride out of town he was going on about fat American soldiers who smoked too much grass, three-dollar bills, lady-boys, and chocolate babies…
Learning more about the Vietnam War was incredibly interesting, though the extent to which it reminded me of recent affairs with Iran and Iraq was uncomfortable. Obviously everyone has heard of the Vietnam War, but the extent of the damage done, the gruesome effects of Agent Orange, the sheer number of bombs (way more than in all of WWII), land-mines, and UXO dropped not only on Vietnam, but even on neighboring Cambodia and Laos (the most heavily bombed country on earth) is something that I never could have imagined before I came here. It’s truly sad how little we have learned from our mistakes.
On the way to the tunnels, we visited a handicrafts warehouse where we watched Agent Orange victims creating some of the most popular art sold to tourists, including paintings made with eggshells and mother of pearl. Although this visit was obviously more of a tourist trap than anything else, I still found it to be sad and inspiring at the same time, and I was really glad we got to see it. We continued our uplifting (scarcasm!) day of learning about the war that afternoon by going to the War Remnants Museum, one of the most popular museums in Saigon. We ate dinner at a coffee shop, did some shopping, and ended our last night in Vietnam by reuniting with Meghan and Erika at a hookah place.
On our last day in Vietnam, we went to visit the Reunification Palace, which used to be the home of the South Vietnamese head of government until the war ended and the capital was moved to Hanoi. Thus, the palace looked like something straight out of the ‘70’s, including an eerie basement that still housed "ancient" radio and communication technology. Video footage of Viet Cong tanks overrunning the gates to the palace and forcing the South Vietnamese government to surrender was equally creepy. On our walk back, we passed another famous St. James Cathedral, the French colonial style post office, and ate at a yummy Indian restaurant. Then we boarded the bus for the long trip home, including another FOUR (4!!!) hour wait for the ferry. This time we got out and walked around a bit, taking in more of rural Cambodia.
I arrived home around 11 PM to a dusty rain-splotched floor (what was I thinking leaving my windows open while I was gone?). It was weird for me to return a weary traveler from a long exhausting trip without really returning HOME. It brought back all the initial loneliness and home-sickness I had felt in my first few days in Phnom Penh and made me feel like I had to start all over again. It was so sad to realize that after all this time, I didn’t really feel at home here. But I think much of it was just the stress of the crazy trip and the cleaning and catching up I knew I had to do, because after a few days I miraculously felt eons better.
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